I believe God is calling me to marry a man whom I dated this summer but he has discerned that it is not the right time for him to have a relationship. What would you advise me to do? Does God delight in a person's beautiful outward appearance? If so, what if you don't have good looks? My husband I learned that we are infertile and the grief is hitting us hard. Could you speak some life into this darkness?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
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Q1: I believe God is calling me to marry a man whom I dated this summer and fall. He has discerned that it is not the right time for him to have a relationship, and now we only see each other in groups. He is a devout Catholic and says he wants to focus on his work as a religious education director right now. God keeps giving me little hints that maybe I should not give up hope for this relationship to happen in the future.
You have previously shared that Wendy hoped to marry Christopher for 3 years even while he was interested in someone else. What would you advise me to do? How do I pray for his best interest - it is really hard! I don't want to give up hope, but I also want to stay open to any other possibilities God has for me.
Q2: I have a question about exterior beauty. God is beauty itself, and he delights in it. And I know beauty goes way beyond just outer appearance, but there is something to be said for a beautiful looking man or woman. And it's pretty obvious that some people are simply better looking than others. People are drawn to good looking people in a certain way. So my question is, does God delight in a person's beautiful outward appearance, and if so, what if you don't have good looks? Did God just not want you to have outer beauty?
Q3: Hi Christopher and Wendy!
About a year and a half into our marriage, we went to see a wonderful Catholic doctor to find answers for our experience of infertility. All the tests and follow ups told us that my husband is not making sperm, and there is absolutely nothing that can be done. This news is hitting us both very hard. I have read that the grief of infertility is as if one has been handed a terminal diagnosis. It has felt like a death in so many ways.
Before we can move into whatever God has for us next, I want to understand our bodies deeper. I feel like God is taking us into the emptiness; empty testicles and empty womb. Can you help us understand who we are in this? Could you speak some life into this darkness?
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Resources mentioned this week:
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Theology of the Body Institute Course Schedule
Register for the TOB Patron Virtual Retreat (February 27, 2021)
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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.
Featuring music by Mike Mangione.