Episode 154

Passion vs. Intimacy | ACW154


December 13th, 2021

40 mins 47 secs

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About this Episode

Are Adam and Eve saints? When does desiring a romantic relationship become lustful, especially when using dating apps? What do you recommend for the healing and increase of desire for marital intimacy?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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Patron Question:
Are Adam and Eve saints? What about Cain, Abel, and Seth?

If they are saints, was their gaining death in the garden merely the loss of the supernatural gift of immortality, or also a rupture in their relationship with God they later had to repent of to mend their relationship with God so they could die in his grace?

Question 2:
Dear Christopher and Wendy, I, a 25-year-old male, ended a long-term relationship just over a year ago and a significant reason was my former girlfriend's intent on using contraception in marriage. Shortly after, I came to this podcast for strength, education, and support and I’m confident in that decision. Thank you for your work and passionate responses to all of us listeners.

My question comes about dating apps. In short, do you think it's a good idea? Long version, I recently downloaded a dating app after being against them for so long, and it's the first time it's lasted on my phone for more than 24 hours. I am ready to date again, and I want to find a future spouse. But when does it become lustful in wanting a girlfriend? I find myself giving in to temptation, and sometimes the desire of having a new relationship and the experiences that come with that seem lustful to me. Thanks for your thoughts on this.

Qestion 3:
Christopher and Wendy, we love you! God bless you guys with a most special blessing. You guys have been a great blessing in our life and in our marriage. My wife and I have been married for 4 years. We feel we have a very strong marriage. We’re happy, strong in our Catholic faith, raising 3 kids together.

We want to grow in all areas continually but the one area we feel that is lacking is "her intimacy." She, my wife, wants her sexual desire towards me to be stronger and wants to be more loving during sex. We have revealed everything to each other about our past sexual experiences because we wanted to hold nothing back from each other before we got married. (When I heard you say this on the podcast I was so glad to hear that I did the right thing to expose my past self). Her first sexual experience was not a good one. She was also 14 at the time and there were other sexual partners after that also. She says the times she experienced sexual desire was at the beginning of a relationship with someone new. I feel that in our marriage she “does it to please me." We’ve been reading Theology of the Body and listening to your podcasts. I long for her intimacy and more of her presence during our love making. We talk about it together rather often now and she is open to ways to help or resolve whatever the issue may be.

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!

Check out the John Paul II Healing Center

Be Restored: Healing Our Sexual Wounds through Jesus’ Merciful Love by Dr. Bob Schuchts

Naked Surrender: Coming Home to Our True Sexuality by Andrew Comiskey

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.