We Need Touch! | ACW150

Can our desires reveal God's will for us? I was a sperm donor before my conversion: what should I do? Is it wrong to ask for physicaly affection when dating?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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Patron Question:
Hello, first I would like to say thank you for your podcast. Recently I asked the man I hope I will one day be married to a question. I asked if he could see us together in the future, raising children and living for God together. We’ve been together for 3 years. We started our relationship in a carnal way and have both grown more in the Catholic faith. His response was that he doesn’t know. He said he doesn’t know what God's will is for us and he doesn’t want to say if he can see us together. So my question is, can our desires show us God's will? Can God use what we want for good?

Question 2:
I was a sperm donor as a younger man before I came to faith, and now follow the Church's teaching on sexual ethics. The clinic where I made my donations still has some of my “material” left over in order to be able to provide fully-related siblings if any of the women who have already received my material wish for further children from the same father. It goes without saying I won't be providing any further material, and I'm strongly inclined to tell them to dispose of whatever remains. I haven’t done it yet because I feel awful that I'll potentially be creating further fractures in families already formed outside of God's will. Any advice or comments would be hugely appreciated.

Qestion 3:
If affection, especially in dating, is meant to be given only to affirm the goodness of the other and not for yourself, is it wrong when you are in need of comfort to ask for a hug or some other affection?

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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.